Katy Perry, Go Away.

(In order: Katy, Zooey, Katy, Zooey. Jesus, they look identical.)

So, I'm pretty out of the pop culture loop. I hate gossip magazines and no longer read sites like DListed or The Superficial because frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. Seriously. Besides this whole Lindsay Lohan/Samantha Ronson possible romance, which I find fascinating, everything else just drips of boring rich privilege. Ooh, Brangelina are living in a $300 trillion French Chateau? Great!

I used to love that kind of stuff, for reasons unknown, but the idea that more people vote for American Idol contestants than political candidates (is that true? I wouldn't be surprised) makes me sick. It's just another attempt by society to distract us into complacency. Sorry to get all Marxist on you, but with all the time people spend reading up on who has the best beach body, they could actually gain some real understanding on relevant political issues and decide to take action as they see fit. It's like the Tyranny of Choice: we agonize over what type of toothpaste to buy so we won't have the energy to care about what really matters (health care, women's rights, the economy).

I think it's deliberate. My grandpa also thinks the government deliberately keeps higher education from being attainable to the masses because knowledge is dangerous. Can you imagine what some sociology classes would do for the working poor? Did you know that the CEO of a company makes over 500 times more than his average worker? Collective consciousness leads to collective unrest, which leads to revolution. I know, I know, I'm spouting off the introduction to Marxism 101. I guess we're both big ole cynics.

Anyway, it's kind of embarrassing how out of the loop I am when it comes to pop culture (I think I'm under the loop, actually). I've only heard Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" twice, but that's enough to know that it sucks. Really.

I find it soooo demeaning. Rest assured, she's no lesbian! It was just for titilation. It was EXCITING! Oh, and way hot. Did you know she used to be a Christian artist? ...The fuck?

I also hate how she's stealing Zooey Deschanel's look. I think Zooey is adorable, stylish, and musically talented. Katy Perry is an identity stealer. I think they even have the same hairstylist (for real). See above for evidence. For all I know, those could all be of Katy. Or Zooey.

Lastly, DON'T SPELL "KATIE" AS KATY. That's pronounced Catty. And yes, I've seen Mean Girls. She should at least have the decency to do something ridiculously weird like put a macron over the A so you know it's a long vowel.

Ugh. See why I can't spend too much time on pop culture anymore? Because it would use up all my political fury.