allison wrote.

haha

2011-02-01T13:20:00.002-05:00

hello! look at my ruined header. sigh. i just logged into blogspot to help a friend with her new blog. is anyone out there?

oh hey.

2009-09-12T17:40:00.002-04:00

dope.

2009-05-27T14:31:00.001-04:00

Need I say more? (I won't, cause I'm lazy and sick.)

Tights by bebaroque.

AMAZINGAMAZINGWANTWANTWANT

2009-05-18T12:56:00.003-04:00

Bliss Lau Riot Bracelet, $378 at Bona Drag

i like the cut of her jib.

2009-05-15T00:40:00.002-04:00

This girl can DRESS. If you know me at all, you know I love a high-waisted skirt. See more at piksi_'s photostream.

word.

2009-05-14T16:23:00.002-04:00

Gawd, I love these.

(Sunshine and Shadow shorts, available at BuyDefinition.)

can't stop listening.

2009-05-13T18:53:00.002-04:00

Hooooo boy, I haven't listened to Camera Obscura in forever. I love this song.

ZOMG.

2009-05-13T15:59:00.002-04:00

My cats have been fighting for months, but they've been kind of sort of getting along recently. Just today, Ichi was sleeping, and Sookie (who is the one delaying their inevitable romance) gingerly walked over and laid down next to him. Then Ichi made out with her back. I tried to get my camera but it's dead, so these crappy photobooth shots will have to do!

doppelgangers.

2009-05-13T15:34:00.004-04:00

Do you ever see a photograph and think, "Whoa, that looks like me", even if it's just a tiny snippet? I had that response to this picture. Maybe it's the shorts.

(Photo from Ye Rin Mok Photography.)

these cats would do so well in richmond.

2009-05-11T18:08:00.000-04:00

(via look at this fucking hipster)

hey, some semblance of an outfit post.

2009-05-08T14:03:00.002-04:00

I wore this outfit yesterday night and today. (I repeat outfits for different audiences. DON'T JUDGE.)

quail top, bdg jeans, ioselliani bracelets, adrienne vittadini pumps.

keeetties?

2009-05-04T18:33:00.001-04:00

I think they're still deciding whether they hate one another.

more clothes I'm selling.

2009-05-04T14:33:00.002-04:00

diane von furstenberg blouse, size 0

marc by marc jacobs dress, size 0

the pop avant-garde batwing top, one size fits all

kova & t lace leggings, size xs

All these and more available soon at shoes and your mom.

sometimes i wear silly headbands.

2009-04-30T21:40:00.003-04:00

case in point:

shoes I'm selling

2009-04-27T15:27:00.002-04:00

Again, these will be featured on Lulu's shoes and your mom.

Nine West, size 5.5.

Aldo, size 36.

Hypnotic, size 5.5.

Made by Elves, size 6.

Thanks again!

FINALLY

2009-04-27T14:56:00.002-04:00

I am finally selling a bunch of clothes. They're going to be on shoes and your mom, so keep your eyes peeled. There are lots of clothes and shoes to come, but for now, this is what I'm getting rid of:

Alexander Wang tricot scoop neck, size XS.

Mociun Bauhaus tee, size S.

Sophomore button dress, size XS.

Dust sweater, size M.

Thanks!

ridiculously perfect.

2009-04-24T17:22:00.003-04:00

This outfit is so on-trend! I want the whole thing.

(Camila Alves, via Jezebel, via Getty)

next step: wall art!

2009-04-24T11:20:00.002-04:00

i LOVE this dress.

2009-04-23T20:53:00.002-04:00

(by 3.1 phillip lim, available at la garconne)

it's a bummer heights high.

2009-04-20T22:05:00.003-04:00

My stupidly misbehaved cat, Ichi, busted the hinge on my Macbook Pro. I was sitting on the couch with my laptop in my lap, and he tried to jump OVER the screen to get to me. Instead, his paws caught the screen and as he fell, he bent it back too far. I guess I should be flattered, but I'm just reeeeeally pissed. It's not ruined, but now it bends back way more than it should and it flops shut from a certain angle. I want to take it to the Mac store, but I know it'll be ridiculously expensive to fix, and I have to avoid the one in Richmond for certain reasons. Le sigh. I DO NOT LIKE MY KITTY TODAY.

wedding!

2009-04-20T16:55:00.003-04:00

I went to a wedding on Saturday (CONGRATULATIONS CLARA) and it was all so perfect. The weather, her sheltie as the ring-bearer, the music, the food, the laid-back atmosphere. She looked absolutely gorgeous (and the groom didn't look half-bad, either). All in all, as a not-very-romantic-person, I looooved it. To respect her privacy, I won't post photos of her, but this is what *I* wore.

bloggy blog.

2009-04-19T11:42:00.003-04:00

I haven't been posting much lately, mostly because I'm in a transitional period of my life (um...I do realize this phase has been going on for about a year now). I'm looking for jobs in my city, figuring out long-term plans, and looking to carve out my own little niche. So, at the moment, I'm trying to decide what to focus this blog on. (I realize that this specific indecisiveness has been going on for quite some time as well.)

Looking back, I sometimes used this space for things that were better left to personal diaries and conversations. I don't regret revealing my struggles with mental health issues, because I do think there's an unnecessary stigma towards them. But I also don't think it's appropriate to reveal deeply personal things on a blog I sometimes promote on my resume and networking vehicles attached to my name. So, I'm going to be deleting all posts of the sort and re-focusing future content on pretty clothes, pretty apartments, pretty everything...along with some pretty adorbz kitty pictures and rambling social commentary. Good stuff, right?

Signed,
The Management

the kitties are here!

2009-04-14T14:28:00.006-04:00

I brought the kitties to my apartment last night and it finally feels like home. Ichi's been relatively good, but I give him a few days before he destroys something.

safe at last

2009-04-14T14:07:00.002-04:00

Rebecca Turbow's S/S 2009 collection of her line Safe is finally available online. This dress is my favorite.

i built a dresser!

2009-04-10T16:09:00.001-04:00

Who's proud? I AM!

yes please!

2009-04-06T21:34:00.001-04:00

Vain & Vapid Rivington Dress.

new apartment.

2009-04-05T19:20:00.005-04:00

I am ridiculously excited about my new apartment. I haven't done any decorating and I've been sleeping on a bare mattress, but I still adore it. One day my furniture will be made (that's what friends are for?).

well pin a rose on my nose.

2009-03-31T20:54:00.002-04:00

When I first saw this, I thought it was DJ from Full House (real name Candace Cameron).

(via.)

epic.

2009-03-30T23:28:00.001-04:00

(via hipster runoff via cobrasnake)

late night impulse buy.

2009-03-28T00:42:00.002-04:00

Oopsy doops. At least I'm on-trend.

happiness is a pretty dress.

2009-03-27T23:57:00.002-04:00

I discovered Portland-based designer SarahSeven a few months ago (via Lookbook, I believe), and I've been stalking her etsy shop ever since. She has a knack for making perfectly tailored, pretty, wispy dresses. I never think about weddings, but I'd love that robin's egg blue dress for any bridesmaids I might have. With the glasses, OBVI.

what say you?

2009-03-27T22:20:00.003-04:00

I love Frances May, a Portland boutique that recently launched an online shop. I also love eco-friendly label Mociun. I can't tell if I love this skirt. What do you all think?

Ambivalence aside, I LOVE this bathing suit (also by Mociun, but available at Beklina).

cutest outfit EVARRRR.

2009-03-27T21:37:00.001-04:00

I want it. It is so me. Where did I find this picture and why didn't I take note of it?

can't see the forest for the trees.

2009-03-26T20:13:00.003-04:00

I move to my new apartment in less than a week and I'm starting to get excited. But, um, I barely have furniture. Instead I have lots of wall art. So what do I do? I buy $100 worth of FRAMES. Um, a couch and a rug should have maybe come first.

Psst, this is the couch I'm getting. I will change the legs from little stumps to pretty ones. It is also not so dark in person. I sat on it today and it is comfy and pretty and classic and durable! Yay!

why do i love this so much?

2009-03-23T20:41:00.002-04:00

(via facehunter)

apartment color scheme.

2009-03-21T15:37:00.005-04:00

This is pretty much my dream living room/apartment/everything-in-life color scheme. It's even my TUMBLR color scheme (and, did you notice, my blog's as well? I had both before I found this image...it's fate!).

(via 100 Layer Cake)

springgg!

2009-03-21T15:09:00.011-04:00

It doesn't feel like spring yet in Virginia (well, it did on one day last week), but all I can think about is eschewing pants and boots for dresses and sandals. I can't really shop anymore, since I'm unemployed and about to move to a new apartment (I'm buying a couch!), but here's what I WOULD buy if someone handed me a suitcase full of money:

Horace Biker Jacket (available at Oak)

Linus Jumper (available at Oak)

Alexander Wang Chartreuse Tank (available at Oak)

Printed Camisole by Linus

Sculptural Skirt by Linus

Preen "Power Dress" (aka the most amazing thing ever -- available at La Garconne)

Steven Alan Apron dress (available at Urban Outfitters)

Strapless Denim Dress (available at Urban Outfitters)

Pocket Tank (available at Urban Outfitters)

Prince shoe in black by Marais (available in May)

my inner (sexy?) grandma loves this dress.

2009-03-21T15:04:00.001-04:00

available at Beklina.

ew, REALLY?

2009-03-20T19:38:00.003-04:00

(via WhoWhatWear)

(via Refinery29's Pipeline)

I knew strong shoulders were "in", but I hate them. Maybe it's because I have broad shoulders and a narrow waist, but I feel downright mannish with that kind of 80s power suit silhouette. At least I'm perpetually stylish! (This season, at least.)

hiiii.

2009-03-20T00:44:00.002-04:00

So, I've been absent forever. I know this is bad.

But, I'm back! Kind of!

tumblr overlap.

2009-02-23T23:24:00.000-05:00

lost in a moment from dennis wheatley on Vimeo.

This video is really lovely.

new ivana xl.

2009-02-23T23:09:00.002-05:00

"red red sun peaking through the cracks in the curtains,
i can’t take it today and i won’t take it tomorrow,
so i’m gonna hide, i’m gonna hide,
i can’t see no good, can’t see no good in leaving,
i won’t see that face again and you won’t see this face again,
why couldn’t we just get along?
why couldn’t we just get along?
why couldn’t we just get along?"

I love Ivana's two new songs, Red Red Sun and Always Tell the Truth. You can download them here and here.

samantha pleet f/w 09 video lookbook

2009-02-21T22:30:00.001-05:00

Samantha Pleet - AW09 from Samantha Pleet on Vimeo.

{via refinery29}

omg shoes.

2009-02-20T14:51:00.002-05:00

Hey dollfaces,

I FINALLY got around to selling my stuff. Well, just some shoes for now. But sometime soon I really will be putting up all kinds of clothes on eBay, promise! First, I'm selling these Devotte booties through Lulu. Look for them here.

i am obsessed with craigslist.

2009-02-18T10:06:00.004-05:00

Thank you all for your wonderful comments! I know. I KNOW. A WHITE sofa. I'm crazy. I'm also so addicted to Craigslist it's not funny. There's some gems when you sift through the fug! (Also, Katie, YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT DIVERSITY THRIFT. Love it.)

So, since I'm on this apartment roll, I thought I'd share some of my favorite spaces (this is part one). I'm sorry for the lack of sources, but they're most likely from Design*Sponge or Apartment Therapy. The one below is almost certainly from sfgirlbybay. Let me know of any other uncredited sources!

ahem.

2009-02-17T23:40:00.009-05:00

Sorry I suck at blogging. I've just been sick and stressed and, well, if you spend any time reading this blog you know I'm already kind of a low-energy person. So one thing happens and the rest falls to pieces, including this little blog. But! I'm back. For now, at least.

Sooo...I now have an apartment in Richmond and I'm so, so excited. It's got a gorgeous bay window and lots of natural light and an adorable white fireplace and a total Parisian vibe. The lobby has red carpet (creepy) and a huge painting done by the previous owner before she died (creepier). I believe the building has been around since 1897 and, while I don't believe in ghosts, I love thinking about hauntings.

I am on a pretty tight budget and have minimal furniture, but I bought the chair below on Craigslist for $50 and I'm pretty much using it as a starting point. The room at the top of this post was featured on Apartment Therapy and is pretty much what I would do with my place if I had a job and buckets of money.

Here's what I'm eyeing at Ikea and Urban Outfitters. Obviously I can't afford to buy all of this, but IwouldifIcould, you know?

This Couch:

With these legs:

Or this couch:

With pillows this color -- oh, that's the Ikea couch I like, with the good legs!:

(via.)

The Obligatory rug:

This Coffee Table:

And these accents:

plus my 132354732523 art prints/accessories I've bought from etsy and other online shops.

Obviously I need side tables and lamps and a TV-holder and a TV but...I don't really know what I'm looking for and I'm thinking I can use crappy stand-ins until I actually make money/find something I like.

I also just realized I'm boring and like everything white. I've been told my style is very sterile and Patrick Bateman, but that's what the furry rugs are for!

To be honest, I'll probably just get one of those two couches and thrift the rest. Which one do you prefer?

putting my money in my mouth.

2009-02-14T17:33:00.001-05:00

I have a tumblr now, since I'm too lazy to blog at the moment.

See it here.

LOVE THIS.

2009-02-14T17:12:00.003-05:00

{via.}

happy valentine's day!

2009-02-14T17:02:00.002-05:00

words of wisdom.

2009-02-11T20:37:00.001-05:00

"Admitting it is the first step to admitting you have a problem."
-me, 2/11/09

(also, I got an apartment!)

maybe i should just start a tumblr...

2009-02-07T17:53:00.002-05:00

I have no original thoughts right now. Nothing of interest, at least.

{via.}

the greatest picture in the history of the universe.

2009-01-29T02:03:00.002-05:00

also, me in a nutshell.

{via.}

sentimental quote of the day.

2009-01-29T01:33:00.002-05:00

"I love sleep,
my life has a tendency
to fall apart when I’m awake."
-Ernest Hemingway
{via.}

This entire post is quite beautiful. I like this part best:

"I often wonder,
is it really possible,
a certain place
can make you feel different?
When you look at that picture above,
you get a feeling,
a feeling of wanting to be there.
You don't want to be where you are now,
because you can't be in two different places.
I wish i was happy with the place
i am now.
I am not.
I already know this place.
I am dreaming about places
i've never been.
Places unknown,
places to discover.

If only i wasn't so afraid to fly."

who wants cheap designer clothes? you do!

2009-01-28T23:02:00.009-05:00

I just wanted to let you all know in advance that I'm going to be selling a batch of never-worn (and new-with-tags) designer clothing on eBay. These are clothes I bought from online boutiques that didn't fit (or looked bad on my body) and I intended to get tailored, but wound up sitting in my closet for months. I'll let you know when I've made the listings. For now, I need to do some research on keywords and work on photographing the clothes.

Here's a taste of what I'll be selling:

Current/Elliot Tulip dress, size 0

Sophomore Button dress in orange, size S

Rachel Comey Triangle belt in brown, size S

Also: Elizabeth & James shorts, Devotte boots, a Diane von Furstenburg blouse, a Twelfth Street by Cynthia Vincent dress, a BCBG top, an Anthropologie dress, lots of unworn Urban Outfitters stuff...and maybe an Alexander Wang dress, too.

a no brainer.

2009-01-28T20:36:00.002-05:00

If you haven't checked it out already, you should really listen to (and buy!) the new Animal Collective album, Merriweather Post Pavilion. Everything to say about it has already been said, so I won't bother. But really, it's fantastic. (This song might be my favorite.)

snow day.

2009-01-28T19:54:00.003-05:00

I am not a cold-weather person. Actually, I'm not a hot-weather person, either. I like my weather in the mid-seventies and sunny. This whole winter, I've been downright hermit-esque and every day, I hope for spring. That being said, it snowed yesterday and everything looks lovely. I took a few pictures today (but not too many, because, like I mentioned, I'm a little baby when it comes to the cold!).

See more at my Flickr photostream.

oh hey, an outfit post.

2009-01-28T16:42:00.002-05:00

I wish I had a cool studio setup like Lulu or Rumi. Instead, I have me, terrible lighting, and no decent full-size mirror. Sorry, y'all.

{Church & State top, Siwy jeans; not seen: Vintage brown boots}

a driveway moment.

2009-01-25T23:29:00.004-05:00

I heard this story tonight on NPR and had to look it up and spread the word. It's so amazingly touching. I highly recommend a listen:

"After the Forgetting"

Producer Erica Heilman brings us this story of how a Vermont family changes as the mother's dementia progresses. What happens to love when there is no memory? An evolution of relationships reveal themselves in these conversations between Gregory Sharrow, his mother Marjorie and Greg's husband Bob Hooker.

(I found this comment on the NPR page about Marjorie in her younger days: "I know (knew?) Marj...she is a friend of my parents. She always had the best stories about her travels with her husband, like getting attacked by monkeys while on a safari. I always liked going over to her house because she had drawer upon drawer of costume jewelry. She is also a terrific painter. I still have a note she wrote me about meeting Houdini when she was a child. I was so sad to hear about her memory loss, but I hear that it hasn't changed her attitude towards life. She has always been such an upbeat soul. Thanks to Greg for taking such good care of her.")

More information about this piece can be found at Transom.

beyond amelie.

2009-01-25T20:55:00.002-05:00

I love Yann Tiersen. I don't know if it's still cool to do so, because I'm pretty sure everyone is all Amelie'd out, but he makes such pleasant "quintessentially French" music (accordions and toy pianos abound!). This song is one of my favorites. It's called "La Veillée".

my wardrobe is complete.

2009-01-24T23:06:00.003-05:00

I love sunglasses, but I always feel silly in them. I have lots of cheap pairs (H&M, Urban Outfitters) and a single expensive pair (Ksubi), but I'm always too bashful to wear them. I tried these on today in Forever 21 and it's LOVE. They're so stupid. I want to wear them everywhere. Best $5 I ever spent.

happy friday.

2009-01-23T20:29:00.007-05:00

{via camp comfort via the sartorialist}

{via six impossible things}

{via the huffington post, originally from AP/Getty}

{via boston.com}

thank you, mr. president.

2009-01-23T20:27:00.000-05:00

"Obama reverses 'global gag rule' on family planning organisations"

the chain letter of blogs.

2009-01-23T14:37:00.003-05:00

The lovely Penny tagged me for this whole "fourth photo of fourth folder" thing. Here are the rules:

Go to the forth folder on your computer where you keep you photographs.
Choose the 4th picture.
Explain it.
Tag four other people.

This is what I got:

I keep loads and loads of picture folders. Interior design, streetstyle, MORE streetstyle, fashion editorials, photography I like, etc., etc. This picture comes from the blog of a delightfully charming Scandinavian (I think?) blogger. I'm awful, because I forget her name. I know she's popular on the blogosphere, but I did a (painful) cull of fashion blogs on my RSS reader a few months ago and hers was one that I got rid of. Eeep! Can someone help?

Anyway, I saved this picture because I really love full skirts of all kinds. I also love the mix of colors within and between each outfit.

I tag:

Tenacious Dee
URPLE
My Style Lounge
{frolic!}

this happens to me all the time.

2009-01-22T18:27:00.001-05:00

"It is strange how a word transforms when you look at it closely and read it slowly. After a while you are not sure if it is a word at all."

{via.}

dudes and dudettes.

2009-01-19T18:51:00.002-05:00

I went to Richmond today to look at apartments and found the most amazing one. It's in a safe, convenient location, it's not-too-expensive, is on the same street as my best friend's place, has a huge bedroom/back porch/front porch/huge living room/nice kitchen/dining area/allows pets/includes utilities and is all around amazing.

It's not so cheap that there must be something wrong with it, as my two best friends who lived/live in Richmond had equally amazing places for comparable prices. Richmond is cheap because the career market sucks, but I'm not looking for a career at the moment. Actually, that's why the current tenant is leaving. (She's moving to Charlottesville for work.) I'm not too concerned with that because I'll be looking for a mundane job that pays rent while I work my ass off on the GREs and possibly get some internships.

I know I was sort of torn about Richmond vs. Portland, but for now, it seems like a good intermediate step before moving out west. The thought of lugging everything (my car, my whiney cats, my furniture) across the country and then schlepping back here for the GREs makes my head hurt. I kind of love the idea of being close enough to go home but far enough to feel removed, at least for a year. Then I can go to grad school in New York and on to bigger and better things!

I'm cynical enough to assume there will be some major roadblocks, but for now (and with the inauguration tomorrow), I'm feeling pretty wonderful.

happy MLK day.

2009-01-19T17:53:00.002-05:00

I highly recommend listening to this interview with John Lewis, a Democratic congressman and civil rights activist. He describes his experiences during the Civil Rights Movement and draws a parallel to the gay rights struggle of today.

all is not right with the world.

2009-01-18T22:21:00.002-05:00

This movie topped the box office this weekend. A movie about a mall cop. A movie starring one of the least funny comedians I know (who is also, surprise surprise, a Republican!). It's beating Gran Torino, a movie I saw last night and thought was fantastic. Clint Eastwood is also a Republican (well, he claims to be a Libertarian but supported John McCain), but I don't hold that against him because he seems like a good guy. Kevin James is a Republican who made a stupid movie about two dudes who pretend to be gay for the benefits. Clint Eastwood is a Republican who made an intelligent movie about race relations. I love the Dollars Trilogy, too.

I loathe you, Kevin James. LOATHE. YOU ARE AWFUL.

draw rings.

2009-01-18T21:29:00.008-05:00

Katey Jean is my new favorite artist. Her stuff reminds me a bit of Carson Ellis (artist for the Decemberists and wife of Colin Meloy) and Denise Ann Simon* (now Denise Ann Holmes). You know when you find a band who can do no wrong? Sure, you have favorite songs, but their general aesthetic just meshes so well with your taste that it's scary? Katey Jean is like that for me.

From her site:

"My name is Katey-Jean Harvey, I'm an illustrator and painter currently based in Liverpool, UK. My work is often narrative based, creating a world where my grumpy girls in cute dresses can sulk about boys and hang out with skeletons and sausage dogs. I am very fond of thin paint brushes, grey paper and sneaking cats into all of my pictures. I graduated from Liverpool School of Art with a first class degree in Graphic Arts and have made pictures for Amelia's Magazine, Hot Club de Paris, Puzzle and Meshuggy."

Katey Jean's site
Katey Jean's Flickr
Katey Jean's blog

All pictures are from Katey Jean's site, with the exception of the first, which is from her Flickr.

Just a sidenote, but I can't stress how great Denise Ann Holmes's work looks in person. I have this print and it makes me giddy:

{Katey Jean discovered via Design for Mankind}

craftwork.

2009-01-18T20:37:00.009-05:00

I've been really into fiber arts lately and fortuitously discovered a bunch of great artists at once. Here are some of my favorites:

Sandra Sheehy

{photo credit}

"Sandra Sheehy was born in Norfolk in 1965 and studied illustration at Maidstone College of Art but never pursued this career. She began making embroidery pictures in 1988. When she begins a new piece, she has no plan in mind: 'I start at the centre and the work unfolds to me... the constant feeling is of the repeating patterns of life that range from the microscopic to the ever-expanding universe.'" (from England & Co.)

Aya Kakeda

{photo credit}

"Aya was born and raised in Tokyo Japan.

She now works and lives in Brooklyn, New York.

She likes Cats, seals , and receiving postcards and she has ever changing weekly obsessions, now it’s the French language and star nosed mole." (from flux factory.)

Aya draws and paints in addition to embroidering.

Jenny Hart

{photo credit}

"Jenny Hart (b. 1972) is an artist based in Austin, Texas. She is also the founder Sublime Stitching, a design company launched in 2001 to revitalize the craft of hand embroidery. Jenny's work has appeared in publications such as Spin, Nylon, Rolling Stone, Venus, The Face, Bust and Juxtapoz. She is the author of three titles for Chronicle Books (San Francisco) and her design work won PRINT Magazine's Regional Design Annual award (2005). Jenny has worked with The Flaming Lips, collaborated with The Decemberists, and comic artists Dame Darcy and Mitch O'Connell. Her work is in the collections of Carrie Fisher, Tracey Ullman and Elizabeth Taylor. Jenny was a panelist at the 2007 SXSW Interactive Festival and a featured speaker at the 2007 Maker Faire Austin." (from her website.)

Sandra Golbert

{photo credit}

"This artist creates sculptures, collages, quilts, watercolors and artists' books. She makes her own handmade paper and paints silk with cold water dyes, using these materials to construct her artwork. Several major hotels display her fiber art murals and installations. Her work is also exhibited in galleries and museums in the United States and the Caribbean." (from her website.)

{discovered via Little Yellow Bird, another great fiber artist}

Sarah Illenberger

{photo credit}

She mostly works with paper and other materials (food included), but her stuff is too good to exclude from this post.

"Defining one category for all the work of Sarah Illenberger is no easy task. The forms the visual translations of her themes assume are far too diverse. What initially sounds quite abstract, in reality, is mostly practical in that her creations are not generated on a computer but rather by meticulous handwork, sometimes incorporating the most mundane materials. A story about love-sickness is visualised through an embroidered design. Variously coloured tablets are used to compose portraits for a magazine. And in Sarah’s hands, beauty products are given new life by being transformed into tourist landmarks. Whatever she creates, it is done with a humorous touch and a great love for detail. Each assignment leads to a unique work of art, sometimes visually enhancing the content of a feature, sometimes to be considered a work in its own right. In her Berlin studio, Sarah Illenberger develops concepts for editorial as well as commercial clients. She mostly works alone, but occasionally teams up with a photographer." (from her site.)

Special thanks to Christos for telling me about Aya Kakeda and Jenny Hart.

make me up.

2009-01-18T19:13:00.011-05:00

I'm kind of obsessed with makeup. I don't wear it every day, but I try to at least wear some blush and mascara when I have the time. The key to purchasing is to have a strategy, because makeup is often ridiculously overpriced and once you buy something, there's usually no going back.

When I get the hankering for a product (a foundation brush, for instance), I go to Makeupalley first. Registration is free, and there you can read hundreds of reviews on thousands of products. They cover everything from cosmetics, tools and hair products, so it's a good all-purpose beauty site. The reviews can be sorted categorically or by brand (or both), but many brands make pages of products, so you can choose to have results arranged by "best value", "top picks" or "most reviews".

Another helpful aspect is that each reviewer can choose to make a "skin profile", so you can get an idea of how different skin types respond to different products. Foundation in particular can be extremely temperamental depending on how oily or dry your skin is.

Once you make a short list of products you'd like to try, go to a department store (or Sephora, or Ulta) with a clean face and ask for a sample application. I've done this at Nordstrom and even snooty places like Neiman Marcus, and as long as you seem like you're keen on eventually buying, they're pretty accomodating. With foundation (and other products), it's not just about how it initially looks, it's also about lasting power and skin reaction. You also can't rely on department store lighting alone, so it's best to go in the daytime so you can see how everything looks in natural light (and other types of lighting).

It's sort of a long, annoying process, but I'm extremely picky with just about everything, so I find it works for me. Here are the products I adore:

1. Primer: Yves Saint Laurent Matt Touch Primer

My skin tends to get oily within a few hours, especially during the summer. This little product amazingly combats that while helping foundation go on smoothly. It has a silicon base so I suppose it also fills in fine lines, but I'm too young for those (I hope!). Its main virtue, which I can't stress enough, is the fact that it prevents the face from getting shiny. I'm talking day-after-you-forgot-to-wash-your-face-before-bed-after-coming-home-from-a-disgusting-dance-party effective.

However, I always recommend sampling first. I googled the primer to figure out its full name and found this review, where the author recommends "Make Up For Ever HD Primer" instead.

2. Foundation: Laura Mercier Oil-Free Foundation

This foundation has been named the best oil-free foundation on InStyle's Best Beauty Buys list for as long as I can remember. The colors are yellow-based, which means they match skin tones more closely (supposedly), but there really is a wide range of colors. It's very sheer and glowy. The proper shade will match your skin but make it look not just uniform, but healthy. I've gotten compliments on this foundation from people my age and little old ladies. It's matte, but not too matte. It's glowy, but not dewy or greasy. You can use it sparingly for sheer coverage or layer it without it ever looking cakey. My one complaint is the fact that though it's oil-free, my skin still gets oily while using it. Thus the primer above. I also find that blotting with a kleenex before applying powder soaks up any oils sitting on your skin from moisturizer or foundation.

3. Foundation Brush: Ecotools Foundation Brush

So I never thought brushes mattered much. I just used my fingers like every other non-celebrity and had no problems with it. But while watching makeup tutorials one day (I have a lot of free time, you guys!), I noticed the woman using a foundation brush and raving about how it leaves the skin with an airbrushed quality. So I went to my trusty Makeupalley and found that the highest rated foundation brush retailed for about $5 at Walgreens. I was skeptical but intrigued, so I decided to buy it. It felt weird at first painting your face like a canvass, but it really does make a difference. I always found sponges wasteful (because you're constantly throwing them away but also, because they absorb much of your foundation), but this just needs a little soap and water after each use and it's fine. I've never purchased a super expensive brush, but from what I've manhandled in stores, the quality is just as good as brushes that retail for $50 or more. It's also made from synthetic fibers rather than animal hair.

4. Translucent Powder (tie): Laura Mercier Translucent Setting Powder and Shu Uemura Face Powder Matte in Colorless

They're both velvety and really, honest-to-god translucent -- you won't look like you just put corn starch on your face. They both minimize pores and set your makeup. They do a good job with shine control, though I would give the edge to Laura Mercier's. As always, loose powder can be a pain to apply. I still don't know how to reduce spilling powder everywhere, but I just clean up after application. Both have very pretty, minimalist packaging. Both are also too expensive for simple powder.

5. Blush: Laura Mercier Face Tint in Apricot

I think this product has been discontinued. I bought it from Nordstrom, but it isn't widely available anywhere else, so they might be getting rid of their last stock. It's a translucent loose powder, but a little goes a long way and it's easy to blend. The color is extremely flattering and was developed to "recreate a natural blush". The color is apricot without being too orangey. It's not like Nars's Orgasm, which I find to be too beach bronzey for me. It works on a variety of skin tones and is shimmery without a trace of glitter.

6. Mascara: Yves Saint Laurent 'Volume Effet Faux Cils'

My lashes are pathetic. They're short and fine and I'm a child of the 80s. I love big, thick hair, whether it's attached to my scalp or my eyes. So I OD on hairspray and mascara. This stuff is like crack. The 'faux cils' means fake lashes, and it really does deliver. I'm generally not a fan of very "wet" mascaras (like Maybelline's Great Lash) because they clump easily, but this one is worth it. I just wipe off all the excess, on the bottle and on a kleenex, and then apply layer by layer until my lashes are long and thick. I guess some people prefer modest eyelashes, but I love the lush, doey look of big ones. This stuff gives you the illusion of good genes without a hint of the spider effect.

7. Eyeliner: Mac Fluidline

I love a good, simple cat-eye. Liquid liner is a bitch. I thought it impossible, until I found Fluidline. It's a gel liner that is best applied with an angled brush (I use the 266), and blotting the brush on the cap of the liner makes applying it a cinch. Watching this video on how to do the perfect cat-eye helps a lot, too.

So, that's my makeup post. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd post pictures of the products on me. Maybe someday!

{image credits: 1, 2, 3, 4a, 4b, 5, 6, 7}

you ever drunk bailey's from a shoe?

2009-01-18T15:48:00.002-05:00

The "Sunday Funnies" Jezebel thread reminded me of the glory that is The Mighty Boosh. I don't know why I needed reminding, because I watch the DVDs every night before I go to bed. Here's a clip from one particular episode. (Note: it's written for and probably by people on drugs, though I enjoy it completely sober!)

2009-01-16T02:00:00.002-05:00

“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. 'Which road do I take?' she asked. 'Where do you want to go?' was his response. 'I don’t know,' Alice answered. 'Then,' said the cat, 'it doesn’t matter.'"

- Lewis Carroll

{via overflowing}

my last purchase ever.

2009-01-16T01:01:00.003-05:00

i miss taking pictures.

2009-01-16T00:52:00.003-05:00

Winter is so scary for me. I'm already constantly cold, but now it's legitimately frigid. Today the high was 20 degrees, I think. I never went outside. All day, I've been wrapped in my fuzzy robe, in a down comforter, with my cat snuggled up beside me. I STILL froze.

Everything is grey and ugly, but I feel like I could take some good pictures if I wasn't so cold-blooded.

the elephants of style.

2009-01-16T00:07:00.005-05:00

Do you see what I see? I was in the supermarket the other day when I came across this ghastly cover. I don't care about the Britney story, I care about the headline: "What price fame?" At first I thought I was just daft and couldn't figure out its meaning. I tried to look at the three words from a variety of angles. It took me a few minutes before I realized the error was theirs, not mine -- it was simply lazy prose. Obviously, a magazine like OK! is not known for its quality of writing, but the lack of a coherent cover headline should be considered troublesome. If someone was fired for spelling dear Ashlee Simpson's name as "Ashley", surely someone deserves censure for forgetting the remainder of the sentence? Perhaps they meant, "What price for fame?", which isn't the nicest of sentences but at least conveys a shred of meaning. I guess I'm just bitter, but really? Every unemployed writer I know is better than this.

So I googled the phrase, and it's supposedly an idiom. Forbes used it to title a piece about Heath Ledger, it's the name of a book, and there's even a page about it on the Free Dictionary. I still don't like it. It's messy and unclear and not popular enough to fly, in my opinion. I know not every idiom makes sense, but this one is worthless.

I'm becoming very self-conscious about my writing. I've been reading "The Elements of Style" by William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White. It's a great little book full of useful guidelines and stylistic advice, but it makes me nervous. Now, I question every comma and adverb I use. I realize I'm too "uncertain" in my writing, needlessly dropping in "sort of's" and "I think that's" when what people prefer is confidence. But scrutinizing every word makes me even less so. There are so many things I did not know, and I feel like every editor I have sent my resume to has cringed at its mistakes.

Did you realize, for example, that "hopefully" should not be interchangeable with "I hope", or "It is to be hoped"? I didn't. I still don't even fully grasp the difference between "lay" and "lie". I know writing isn't supposed to be easy, but I bog myself down with messy sentence structure that I'm unsure how to fix. Strunk and White make it seem so breathlessly easy. They do to writing what French women do to style. To them, it's effortless. To me, whether I'm writing an informal blog post or a professional-yet-creative cover letter, everything feels clumsy. I guess you could say I feel hopeless.

if I had the bills to pay the, uh, bills...

2009-01-15T18:01:00.003-05:00

I'd totally rent this little cottage in Portland. I found it on Craigslist and I can't imagine it looks this good in person because it isn't even all that expensive.

the tyranny of choice.

2009-01-15T16:32:00.004-05:00

So, the reason I haven't been posting isn't due to any exciting news on the job front. It's been a combination of insecurity and lack of direction and/or motivation. (Yes, this is one of those self-important posts you should probably skip.)

I went to New York last week and found myself talking to two people living in two cities I adore. They are both unemployed. One, my friend John, lives in Brooklyn in a great, cozy (yes, that's a euphemism for small, but it's so damn nice!) apartment. He graduated from UVA, is an accomplished writer -- WAY more accomplished than I am -- and is jobless. How can it be? He lives in the media capital of the country. His rent is doable, but the prospect of being unemployed in New York City terrifies me. I thought it'd be a place where I could certainly get a job, albeit a low-paying one. The reason I wasn't rushing to move to New York was the weather, the harsh competition, and the rents, not the prospect of unemployment.

My other friend, Alex, lives in Portland. He's been unemployed since August. Again, he went to a good school, has had two prominent internships working with places like Yellowstone National Park, and he cannot find a job. What gives? If they can't do it, how can I? I've had one good internship and a tiny handful of jobs that are semi-relevant to media (though more geared towards web design, which I'm trying to get away from).

Moving to either place (or anywhere) is making me flutter with insecurity. With my luck, I'd be doing the same thing I do now: applying to jobs all day, every day, to no avail, only with the additional stress of rent. I'd be in a cool city, yes, but if I'm spending most of my time on my computer, is it really worth it to pay so much for ambiance? I thought moving to the physical location I wanted to work would surely get me a job, but my friends show that's not the case. But then I think of the alternative: living at home, for not-too-many-months longer (my dad is moving to Florida soon), and maybe getting an internship (unpaid of course) in a place like DC, which I hate.

For now, I want to go to grad school. "Want" is perhaps not the correct way to put it, but I feel it's a viable alternative. Plus, now I have to go, because I paid $140 to take the GREs in April and spent an additional $90 on practice materials. (I have to admit, while I'm giddy at learning new vocabulary, the prospect of doing math sends my anxiety through the roof. I get nervous enough writing, and I'm pretty confident in my spelling abilities.) But most of the grad schools I'm looking at (The New School, NYU, Columbia, CUNY, Berkeley) have admissions deadlines in December and January. If I take the GRE in April, what do I do after that?

I was thinking about getting a sublet someplace cheap, like Portland or Richmond or, yes, maybe Brooklyn. At least that way I would have my sanity and could potentially find a job, either short- or long-term. But that requires spending money and I'm terrified I'll blow it all. My parents are no help, either, at least when it comes to emotional support. I'm supposed to have known better than to get a degree in a social science. I "should have" been an engineer.

My original point of this post was not to bitch and whine about not having a job. It was to bitch and whine about being so awkward. While I was in New York, I had a good time, but I felt so anxious. I do not do well around "new people", even if I've known those people for several years. I just didn't know what to talk about. Do I bring up being unemployed for the millionth time? Do I talk about music or politics or whatever and risk embarrassing myself with misinformation or plain ignorance? Do I talk about fashion and risk looking entirely vapid? I am socially inept.

My problem is that I think too much. I'm no genius, but I worry worry worry, think think think, ruminate on all that could go wrong, in life and in simple conversation. If I could just take some chances (like my friend Amalia, who just up and moved to San Francisco), things would be a lot easier. I make things complicated. I'm a product of my generation, because it's not like there's a clear-cut answer here. We're told we can be whatever we want to be, do whatever we want in life (as long as we're law-abiding. My mom's response to this, "But I was told I could do what I wanted" is that I should have known better.) Now that I'm wishing I had a simple clear cut path, but if there was simply one clear, viable, appetizing option, I'd suck it up and go for it. I like having choices, but it's paralyzing. I promise, this is not going to go on much longer. I'm going to make some decisions. I just don't know who to talk to about my predicament. (Can anyone recommend a free life coach? Oprah, I need your help.)

This post has no direction and, while sloppy, is a pretty good metaphor for my life.

all eyes on you now.

2009-01-15T15:53:00.004-05:00

I’ve been gushing about Brooklyn-based singer/songwriter Ivana XL for well over a year now, so I figured it was about time I haul my ass up to everyone’s favorite borough to see her play. Technically, Ivana played in the LES of Manhattan, at the uber-hip bar and venue Pianos, but I spent the majority of my three-day trip in good old BK (not Burger King) thanks to the hospitality of my dear friend John. Ivana was the opening act of a four-band line up, and she quietly took the stage at 9 and began playing without much introduction.

Her set opened with a new one, “Mud”, which is a dreamy little ditty about a forgotten friendship. I was immediately taken by the power of her voice, which is strong on recording but even better live. Her presence was quiet and unassuming, and she claimed to be nervous, but her the strength of voice suggested anything but. It's marked by a kind of wavering softness and intentional fluctuation that lend it a cooing quality (John gets the credit for that one). Friends have told me her voice reminds them of Mirah or Emiliana Torrini, but those comparisons still don’t quite capture it. It’s smooth and silky, but she delivers her lyrics with a punchy emphasis that keeps things interesting.

Ivana followed her opener with “Stelluh”, “Sundowner”, “2043” and “The King”, a few featuring additional lyrics from their demo versions (if this was a fancy review, I would have bothered to remember which). Ivana is rightfully applauded for her brevity and bucking of conventional verse-bridge-chorus-repeat song structure, but I appreciated the added length. Her songs always end before I’m ready, and I often listen to one on repeat several times before moving to the next.

Lyrically, Ivana is raw, biting, and self-deprecating. You generally get what she’s singing about, but that’s not to say her songs lack poetry. It’s just that they are supremely relatable, and, while there’s a time and a place for esoteric symbolism, the bluntness of her lyrics hits me in a way that most others don’t. In "Black Eye", she reveals her insecurity: "I dyed my hair black like the girl you first loved, now you're gonna love me too, you'll love me just as much." I love this. I love her honesty. She often sings about failed love but, rather than choose between the “Take me back” or “Why did I ever love you?” false dichotomy that too often exists, she recognizes a third, more realistic option: messy ambiguity. In “Sundowner”, about a guy who wants to “bang the whole wide world”, she teeters between claiming that a "look at what we have" could be enough and dismissing the whole thing with an “oh, fuck it, it was nothing”.

Ivana rounded out her set with a reworked version of “The News”, which contained the same lyrics but a slower, more intricate structure. Her latest songs, including “2043” and “Mud”, have a bit more complexity than the rough demos I first heard on her myspace. Her guitar skills have improved, her melodies are dreamier, and there’s a bit more polish to everything she puts out. That's not to say that her sound has become over-produced, as one of her greatest charms is the imperfection of her delivery, but there's a real maturity in her latest songs. She chooses emotion over slickness, which is apparent when she strikes a guitar chord with such power that you can hear it buzz. I liken it to listening to an LP, where the scratches provide an authenticity severely lacking from digital files.

All in all, it was a fantastic performance from one of my very favorite artists. My only disappointment was the modest showing. It’s clear that she has a lot of support from her friends and family, but it wasn’t the turnout I expected at all. Ivana is incredibly talented, but I guess her obscurity is symptomatic of our country's taste. (Two and a Half Men is one of the most watched sitcoms in America. 'Nuff said.) Ivana closed the show with these lyrics, from “Room with a View”: “It’s all for us, it’s all for us.” I just wish more people came to listen.

Ivana XL’s complete show schedule is available at her myspace.

{picture from her myspace}

ermmm

2009-01-12T12:25:00.001-05:00

I'll be posting again in a bit. Sorry I've been such an ass.

i unintentionally did good.

2009-01-06T01:53:00.005-05:00

According to this article from the Wall Street Journal, being a sociologist is one of the best jobs to have. Does this mean anything? Probably not.

"...jobs at the top of the study's list include actuary, statistician, biologist, software engineer and computer-systems analyst, historian and sociologist.

"Mark Nord is a sociologist working for the Department of Agriculture's Economic Research Service in Washington, D.C. He studies hunger in American households and writes research reports about his findings. 'The best part of the job is the sense that I'm making some contribution to good policy making,' he says. 'The kind of stuff that I crank out gets picked up by advocacy organizations, media and policy officials.'

"The study estimates sociologists earn $63,195, though Mr. Nord, 62, says his income is about double that amount. He says he isn't surprised by the findings because his job generates little stress and he works a steady 7:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. schedule. 'It's all done at the computer at my desk,' he says. 'The main occupational hazard is carpal tunnel syndrome.'"

happy new year!

2009-01-01T01:29:00.001-05:00

{via the daily what}

yes times a million.

2008-12-29T22:14:00.003-05:00

"There’s something valuable about liking something without really knowing who or how many other people like it."

-comment by karen, on "Music and Ownership" @ MBV

so many signals.

2008-12-29T21:55:00.004-05:00

I'm still evaluating what to do with my life, and it seems like there are so many signs that I should be in Portland or at least out of DC. Not that I follow that god forsaken "The Secret" mumbo jumbo, but perhaps it's my brain paying attention to any and all mentions of the place. I know there's a formal term for it, when you only choose to pay attention to things that compliment your beliefs and ignore those that contradict them? Ah yes, confirmation bias!

I was with a friend's uncle the other day, a man from Baltimore who happens to love Portland. I'm not sure what he does professionally, but he sells jewelry on the side and has made his way out there on several business trips. He hesitated to give me any advice, because he correctly assumed I had heard enough, but finally just said, "It's harder to get out of an area once you've established yourself there." I know that there are always exceptions, but it rang true in my ears.

I keep noticing my favorite etsy sellers and artists and fashion designers are from the area. It's odd, really.

And I just got an e-mail from a sympathetic writer who experienced a bout of unemployment. It simply said this:

"I found that leaving the DC area was the answer to my problems. It's a tough place, in so many ways."

the good, the sad, and the ugly

2008-12-29T20:25:00.002-05:00

I never read Fashionista, but I happened across the site today and was intrigued by a post asking everyone to reveal their fashion secrets. I expected things like "double-stick tape", but people seemed intent on disclosing more intimate information. Instead of practical fashion tips, it revealed some interesting things about people's relationships with fashion. In a tribute to Jezebel's similarly titled fashion column, I've picked a few that stuck out:

The Good

"Always size up expensive shoes. Take them to your favorite cobbler and ask him to input Dr. Scholls comfort pads, and also place traction pads on the soles. That way, you can wear them hours longer thanks to the added comfort, and for years to come (without an unfortunate slip-and-fall incident). I've done it on all of my Louboutins and YSLs... there's even a guy on 8th avenue who caters to fashion editors... he places red traction pads on Louboutins for us!"

"i'm a guy, and sometimes when i'm home alone, ill put on a robe, pretend its a massive fur and wear my moms birkin and walk around the house and pretend i'm some park ave bitch."

"In my room, I blast my runway music on, and I do the runway walk."

"I equate fashion with movies. When someone only wears expensive designers, they're a big-budget, brainless summer movie, like Transformers or The Fast and the Furious. I see you with your label bag and your red-soled shoes and I think 'Popcorn Flick.'

The clever girls in their mix and match, high and low, new and vintage? They're indie films. They work harder, are smarter and more exciting. Gimme a Pulp Fiction girl anytime. I'll tell ya: I watched Transformers once last summer, and I'm done. I've seen Pulp Fiction twenty times over the past decade, and it still feels new. Save your money."

The Sad

"I'm a designer size zero and no matter how much I tell people I just eat healthy and work out the truth is I don't eat."

"if college is a time to reinvent yourself, I've done it by not eating and dressing far better. Its made me cry myself to sleep silently almost every night ( so my roommate doesn't hear) but all the compliments I receive makes it worth it."

"I want to be thinner than i am.
im a size 2/4 and feel huge"

"I am over weight and I go shopping alone and buy designer clothes that I can't wear."

"I wish I could get my eating disorder back. I admire the determination I had 3 years ago to be a zero. Ive really let myself go."

"i'm one semester away from completing my law degree and wish i were a fashion editor instead!"

"People think all my shoes are Marc by Marc Jacobs because it's just 'so Faran' but really, those are the only heels I can walk in without falling."

"I have alot of heartbreakingly beautiful clothes and shoes I never wear too!

They sit in my closet because they seem too precious for the world. Or at least the world of subways and pavements that I inhabit. They belong to shiny towncars and marble floors...

If I wear my heels on the street to work people stare at me and I HATE it. WANT to crawl under a rock...

I wish the world would freeze and I could skip around in my alligator prada pumps and vuitton patent and mink booties....

My husband encourages me to sell them all on ebay but to me that's admitting I never had the life for them and never will...."

The Ugly

"I've thought about it, and i would definately committ many crimes and felonies just so i could own a balenciaga city bag, or a large chanel 2.55."

"I aspire to be wealthy, i mean like a billionaire, just so i can dress like the olsen twins. that would make me happy, money makes me happy im definately corrupt inside."

"I don't return things - ever. And I sort of look down on those who do."

"I am horrifically embarrassed that I have friends that use fake designer goods. I don't brag about what I have but I wonder why they aren't ashamed to carry around and use fake Chanel when I have tons or real MJ collection and sometimes use my mother's real Chanel quilted flap."

Neither good nor bad but to which I can relate

"i have more expensive dresses than i have places to wear them"

"I put a lot of effort into my 'look' (what I wear) but if ever complimented/asked, I act like like I put no effort at all"

"im obsessed with fashion, but the people i've met working in the field make me want to move to an obscure country, do charity work for the rest of my life, and never read another fashion magazine or blog again."

"As a Parsons graduate with a career in fashion, everyone's secret has revealed to me what I have been feeling all along. Fashion makes people hate who they are and try to be something they're not. Fashion teaches us to hate the very things about us that makes us unique.. We should all embrace our flaws and secrets and know that love comes from within.. no amount of money, designer clothes and jewelry can ever fill that void."

ooh!

2008-12-28T22:00:00.007-05:00

According to Shift, I'm fabulous. Thankyewwww.

Now I have to list five addictions and deem five other blogs also-fab.

1. Photography

I love the way good photography can make you feel other-worldly. Like there is some far-away place full of idealism and romanticism and soft colors and perennially well-dressed people. A good photograph feels timeless and impossible simple. It feels light and clean and perfect in the most ordinary way.

{photograph by nerijuskio}

2. My kitties

I know it's lame, but I love my cats to death. Animals are so innocent and well-intentioned, even when they're ripping up carpets and hopping on door frames (that's Ichi, by the way). I don't know what I would do without the unyielding adoration from my pets.

{photograph taken by me}

3. Good music

I listen to music all day, every day. Unlike more complacent people who accept anything as background noise, I'm very particular about what I like. (Whether it's good or bad is subjective.) Right now I'm obsessed with Ivana XL, who I will hopefully be seeing in New York next month!

4. Bread and butter

I'm a picky eater. I turn my nose up at margarine, I won't touch egg salad (ugh...what a terrible combination), and I generally dislike fish. But one of my favorite things to eat is fresh French bread with some cultured European butter. (How snobbish of me...even my butter has to be cultured.) My favorite butters are Vermont Butter & Cheese Co. and Kerrygold, always unsalted, and Wegman's makes a good basic French batard. Put 'em together and I'm in heaven. In my own little way, this simple combination makes me feel very European. It's stupid, I know.

{photograph by Tobias Akeblom}

5. "Frasier"

I don't think I'll win any cool points for this one, but I don't care. "Frasier" is the best American sitcom ever made, hands down. Everything about it is amazing. It's funny but it has heart (and not in a cheesy Full House way). It'll make you laugh and cry in the same episode. The humor isn't completely base, but it isn't pretentious, either. The fun is laughing at how ridiculous Niles and Frasier are, not buying into their elitism. The acting is superb. Issues like race and sexuality are handled with grace. And to top it off, it's set in my very favorite corner of America, the Pacific Northwest. If you've never seen the show, I highly recommend it. That being said, I would never get a "Frasier" tattoo.

Now, to tag others!

The Adventures of Penny Plastic

Tenacious Dee

URPLE

little thoughts

clarafier

words to live by.

2008-12-28T21:54:00.003-05:00

"Do you swear you can't live without it? Well, then and only then can you mull over the dollars and cents. What does this have to do with my philosophy of life? Simply this: Do not be seduced by the deal. It's better to spend a lot on a getup you love than a fraction of that on something, or even five of those somethings, that you'll never bother to take out of the shopping bag. By the way, this advice also applies to discount love interests. And half-price sushi."

- Patricia Marx, from "The Price is Right"

my resolutions.

2008-12-28T17:06:00.002-05:00

I've got a bucket load of resolutions this year, and I was inspired by Penny to post them here.

My growing list:

Spend less time on the internet (and my computer)
Eat healthier foods
Lay off the Diet Coke
Go for a walk every day
Wake up earlier, go to bed earlier
Start a budget
Make some decisions

What are yours?

yes.

2008-12-25T00:09:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas/Solstice/Festivus/Saturnalia, everyone. My gift to you is this.

a little suggestion.

2008-12-24T22:53:00.002-05:00

Over the weekend, I had a lot of time to just sit and read. A friend's grandmother was kind enough to give me several issues of the New Yorker, and there were some really great pieces in them. A piece by Zadie Smith about her father and British comedy really stuck out as my favorite, maybe because I myself adore British humor (the British Office is one of the best shows ever made), but also because of the way she spoke about her father and brother. It has little to do with the story, but this paragraph is my life:

"We had been tight as thieves as children, but I’d barely seen him since Harvey died, and I sensed us settling into the attenuated relations of adult siblings, a new formal distance, always slightly abashed, for there seems no clear way, in adult life, to do justice to the intimacy of childhood. I remember being scandalized, as a child, at how rarely our parents spoke to their siblings. How was it possible? How did it happen? Then it happens to you."

Read the rest here.

this is what I'm talking about.

2008-12-23T23:13:00.004-05:00

Anyone similarly concerned about the right of a pharmacist to deny birth control to women based on religious grounds needs to read this article from a recent edition of Newsweek. I had no idea that there was legislation in South Dakota that so blatantly flies in the face of the notion of "conscientious objection".

Here's the deal: In South Dakota, all doctors are legally required to read a script to a woman before performing an abortion on her. This script repeats the usual pro-life rhetoric that abortion = murder, but it also includes blatant lies about how women who seek abortions have higher rates of suicide. (This is simply not true.) So, though a doctor may value honest information, perhaps because their religion requires them to be truthful, they still have to read this script or risk getting fined. This means that religious protection under this new regulation only goes one way (that you enjoy religious freedom unless you are pro-choice, essentially). Those who feel a moral duty against abortion are enjoying an extension of their rights, while those with a moral duty to provide honest and safe medical care to women (including abortions) are seeing their rights disappear.

The last paragraph struck me the hardest:

Almost completely missing from this fascinating legislative discussion of what health workers might be forced to do and say with respect to reproductive rights are the reproductive rights themselves. Whether we like it or not, the right to birth control, emergency contraception and—under most circumstances—abortion is still constitutionally protected. But these are not services a woman can provide for herself, which leaves her with few rights at all when her doctors are empowered by law to misinform her, withhold advice or deny services altogether. Even beyond the problem of subordinating a woman's rights to her doctor, however, there looms a larger question for health-care workers themselves: if they are indeed seeing their rights and freedoms either hugely expanded or severely restricted based solely on which side they've chosen in the culture wars, they might properly wonder whether any of them are truly free at all.

The article is so good. Read it!

{image from Jezebel, originally from the Associated Press}

2008: the bastard year i never wanted*. (part five)

2008-12-23T23:10:00.001-05:00

2008 was a pretty rough year. This is the final part of a five-part post on why it's been so bad for me personally. Please share your reasons, advice, condolences, or whatever in the comments. Also, read parts one, two, three and four.

5. Death
This is another inevitability of life, obviously, but this year it has seemed especially prominent. There were the deaths of Tim Russert and George Carlin, two men I adored for their respective talents; the passing of Bernie Mac, who seemed like great family man; and Obama's grandmother, who died the day before he was elected. ONE DAY. Awful.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some others that really hit close to home, but I was most recently affected and disturbed by the death of Jdimytai Damour, the Wal-Mart worker who was trampled on Black Friday. What a perfect symbol for our rampant consumer greed. We want what we want and we don't care what or who it hurts. Perhaps this is just a rumor, but I heard that people knew someone had been horribly injured, and they kept shopping. They were ANGRY about the holdup, about the need to clear the scene after he died. Honestly? An HDTV is not worth it. (It'll be standard in a few months, anyway.)

Perhaps most shocking, I know three people in one family (not mine) who are dying. Two are near the end of their lives and their ailments are relatively natural, but one woman simply collapsed last week and fell into an irreversible coma. She was young, in her forties, and the sister of a friend's stepmom. They just had Thanksgiving at this woman's house and everything was perfectly fine. And then she collapsed, never to regain consciousness. They just took her off life support and she has less than a week to live. She's already in a vegetative state. They don't even know what's wrong, really. Their guess is its some kind of viral infection in her brain.

So, with this last sobering bullet point, it's not my intent to be heavy-handed or to trivialize these deaths by listing them under me not having a job as explanation for why this year has been so awful. I guess my point is that life is so precious and uncertain, and people too often show a blatant disregard for others. We all know that certain things are inevitable: death, heartache, hardship, whatever, but we don't need to make personal relations another annoyance of life by treating one another like enemies. Why do we have to look at others with such immediate disdain? I'm including myself in this. I know I dislike many Republicans and Libertarians. I admit it, I'm a partial-hypocrite. But I like to think I always give people a fair chance. I don't judge people solely based on their political labels; I let them elucidate their beliefs before forming an opinion (or I try to). I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I at least make an effort to give people the benefit of the doubt. I try to be nice to strangers, and help others, and believe in the goodness of people (even though many of their actions suggest otherwise). I don't assume people on welfare are going to use that money for drugs or whatever. I don't assume the worst. It's one thing to be cautious and realistic, but it's quite another to be a misanthropic jerk.

I think the problem is that too many individuals regard life as a movie starring them. They're the main character, the most important one. Everyone else is simply a supporting actor or a tool to get their story to progress. They're looked at as fixtures, features, not real people with real lives. And, of course, the environment is just a backdrop. Not an ecosystem, but a setting. And things only happen when you're present. I guess I'm talking about a real version of The Truman Show. But life isn't like that at all. Each person has their own little life, a family, a story. The world does not revolve around you. (It revolves around the sun, but that's a terrible joke.) I know it's cheesy, and I'm devastated that it was made into a song for High School Musical, but we are all in this together. Maybe in 2009, we can start acting like it.

(Disclaimer: I'm doubtful. It's just a pipe dream from a weak, compassionate idealist. My problem is that I want the whole world to be humane with me, when I think the key to life is to surround yourself with the ones who actively share that desire.)

2008: the bastard year i never wanted*. (part four)

2008-12-23T23:05:00.003-05:00

2008 was a pretty rough year. This is the fourth part of a five-part post on why it's been so bad for me personally. Please share your reasons, advice, condolences, or whatever in the comments. Also, read parts one, two and three.

4. Speaking of abortion: Idiotic legislation.
I am LIVID over this regulation honoring religious objections from pharmacists and doctors who don't want to deal with abortions and birth control pills. Okay, I get it if a doctor doesn't want to perform an abortion. He or she should not have to. But now they can refuse to refer a patient to a doctor or pharmacist who will. In fact, a pharmacist/doctor can refuse to provide ANY information to a patient if it goes against their morals. But only as it pertains to women's health! The legislation specifically talks about abortion only. Which is why it makes no sense that this regulation also okays pharmacists refusing to dispense contraception. Contraception is not abortion.

There are so many things wrong with this decision, it's not even funny. First of all, don't say you're trying to protect all medical practitioners' religious beliefs if you're only focusing on abortion and contraception. If you were concerned about all religious freedom, you would realize that many other religions have prominent beliefs that interfere with other common medications and write these equally stupid provisions into this awful regulation. Is it okay for a Scientologist pharmacist to refuse to dispense anti-depressants, because it's against their religion? Is it okay for a Christian Scientist pharmacist to refuse to dispense any medication? Is it okay for a Jew to work at a butcher shop and refuse to sell pork? Is it okay for a Jehovah's Witness to refuse to give a blood transfusion (it's against their religion!) to a critically injured patient, or even refer them or take them to a doctor who will?

According to this legislation, probably not. But why is our government valuing one religion's beliefs over another's? Don't Scientologists and Christian Scientists and Jews have the same rights to religious freedom as well? Why is it only Christians that get to have their beliefs "honored" in ridiculous ways? Doesn't the First Amendment prohibit enacting a law that respects an establishment of religion? Aren't you playing favorites with Christianity?

My second, more important point is this: oral contraception is not just used as birth control. Many women, virgins even(!), use hormone therapy (read: birth control pills) to regulate conditions such as endometriosis and ovarian cysts. This isn't even an issue of pain reduction. It's about REDUCING the spread of cysts or polyps. It's the only way to treat these conditions, minus a hysterectomy. I understand that pharmacists are not required to take the Hippocratic oath like doctors are, but their job is to dispense medicine that aids people's health. They make sure medications that have dangerous interactions aren't taken together, and they give you what a doctor has deemed necessary. Preventing a person from getting vital treatment means they aren't fulfilling their job duties. I'm guessing a Jew who refused to sell pork, or a vegan who refused to touch or sell any meat, would be fired from a butcher shop pretty quickly due to the fact that they were failing to meet job requirements. Why are Christian pharmacists being singularly sheltered?

I talked to a very pro-life Catholic about oral contraception for ovarian cysts (and other conditions), and he said that most Catholics are perfectly fine with taking medication for this purpose. Okay, so, it's alright to deny Susie her birth control if it's for pregnancy prevention, but not if she's a virgin with a medical condition. How on EARTH are you going to regulate that? Doesn't that violate doctor-patient confidentiality? Are you going to call little ovarian cyst Susie each day and say, "Are you having sex? If so, you need to stop taking those birth control pills under MY watch!" Are you going to conduct some ridiculous TEST to see if she's a virgin? (There isn't one.)

A Slate article I found uses this final point as the last pin in the coffin:

"The most important distinction between [doctors and pharmacists] has to do with their differing relationship with patients. The law recognizes that doctors' special relationships with their patients warrant a legal privilege: Their discussions are kept secret. You may like and trust your pharmacist. You may even trust him with intimate details about your yeast infection. But your pharmacist has neither the tools nor the right to probe details about rape and abuse, incest and health risks. Which is why pharmacists who interpose themselves between decisions made by a doctor and her patient are overstepping moral and ethical boundaries—and undermining another professional relationship that is fundamentally different from their own."

2008: the bastard year i never wanted*. (part three)

2008-12-23T23:04:00.002-05:00

2008 was a pretty rough year. This is the third part of a five-part post on why it's been so bad for me personally. Please share your reasons, advice, condolences, or whatever in the comments. Also, read parts one and two.

3. Christian hypocrisy.
I suppose this isn't 2008-specific, but election years always bring out the extra-crazies. It's fine if you want to be Christian, but at least understand your religion. I'm an agnostic who has never touched a Bible in her life and I know more about the teachings of Jesus than many of his followers. For example:

a. Saying, "Oh, well, God will punish him/her for that!" is not a Christian virtue. To say that once someone makes a mistake, they are forever doomed to hell pretty much flies in the face of that whole thing about FORGIVENESS. Wasn't that why Jesus existed in the first place? Just because someone makes a mistake does not mean they are a wholly terrible person. Many people later feel remorse for their mistakes. But, oh, I guess once you fuck up, you're destined to hell. You get one shot, and that's it!

Also, to look at people who ARE able to forgive and deem them terrorist-sympathizers or whatever term applies is not very Christian, either. An Evangelical I know was mad that John McCain hugged one of the interrogators from his POW days years later. Terrorist! He's practically a MUSLIM.

b. Saying "I think Barack Obama is a Muslim and that's BAD!" has two levels of awful in it. He had a Reverend Wright Scandal. REVEREND. How can he be a Muslim and have a scandal involving his Reverend? And if he WAS a Muslim, when did xenophobia/bigotry get back in style?! Putting "I'm a Libertarian with theocratic and xenophobic leanings" on your Facebook profile does you no favors, it just makes you look like the biggest asshole known to man. All three of those are bad individually, but put them together and you've got a recipe for disaster. Also, I didn't realize there was a passage in the Bible calling radical American nationalism the one true way and proclaiming that anyone who looks different (Latino, African American or otherwise) is a foreigner who doesn't belong here. I guess the lesson here is, it's cool to be a non-American Christian who has been converted by missionaries, just so long as you stay in your own damn country.

c. Judging others when you've got a big fucking closet full of skeletons is pretty low. This guy I know is a so-called honest-to-goodness Christian who judges people like it's his job. To his current girlfriend, who had an abortion: "I don't hate you." Regarding the homeless man he begrudgingly gave money to: "Well, if he spends it on alcohol, he'll be going to hell." Dude, you had a three-year relationship with a married woman (oh, hey, his current girlfriend is married, too!). I'm pretty sure that kind of thing (premarital sex included) is more explicitly frowned upon in the Bible than people buying things they can't afford (otherwise most Americans are in trouble).

d. Laughing about the prospect of an Obama assassination is not very Christian, either. Seriously, I'm a better Christian than the ones who not-so-secretly hope he dies or refuse to accept him as their president. Karl Rove is probably one of the most evil men alive, but I don't wish death on anyone. I guess it's because I'm such a bleeding heart compassionate tree-hugging liberal. As if that's a BAD thing!

2008: the bastard year i never wanted*. (part two)

2008-12-23T23:01:00.002-05:00

2008 was a pretty rough year. This is the second part of a five-part post on why it's been so bad for me personally. Please share your reasons, advice, condolences, or whatever in the comments. Also, read part one.

2. The terrible economy is probably (hopefully) why I am still unemployed.
What a time to enter the professional world as a fresh-faced (read: inexperienced) aspiring ANYTHING. I knew it was going to be tough, but I didn't realize it was going to be so bad that I can't even get internships or clerical work. It kind of makes me wonder why I worked SO VERY HARD in college. Why I worked hard in high school to get into a good college, then worked even harder in college to graduate with distinction. Look at all these rewards! Pfffth. A waste of time, as far as I'm concerned. I should have majored in something useful, like civil engineering. Studying PEOPLE? Unnecessary. SOCIETY? Useless.

I don't mean to belabor the point, but I really worked my ass off in college and I'm bitter. I spent night after night pulling 12-hour study sessions at the library, drinking buckets of coffee to stay awake, forming calluses from recopying page after page of notes so that the information would be seared into my brain. I woke my clinically depressed ass up (almost) every morning to get to class on time, I forced my socially anxious self to speak in big, scary lectures so I could get participation points. I studied something I was passionate about and learned about the economy and politics and food production and poverty and globalization and the media and international relations and everything involving people. And now? I can't even find work as a secretary. The fuck? I'm qualified, damn it. What's wrong with me?

I guess, in a less selfish way, it just points to how far from a meritocracy this society is. All too often, it doesn't matter how hard you work. It depends on who you are and who you know. Whether daddy can get you a job with his company, or you interview with an employer who was in your sorority and is thus a sister 4 life. This sucks for me, who has no connections but did well in school, but it sucks even more for the poverty-stricken child who can't even get a decent education no matter HOW hard they work, simply because they don't live in the right area of town.

And I've applied for, um, I'd say thousands of jobs. It's fine if you don't want to hire me, but could you at least get an intern to write a simple email saying, "Thank you for your application, but we do not have a position we believe best suits your skills at this time." (Unless it's a receptionist job, because that's just condescending.) Oh, and if you call me in for a second interview and tell me you'll notify me by the end of the week whether I got the job or not, please stick to your word. If you don't plan on ever speaking to me again, just say "Due to the high volume of job applicants, we cannot notify those who are not selected for this position" or whatever your preferred method of polite rejection. It's pretty shitty to just leave me hanging like that. Especially when I diligently fill out each and every one of your company-specific registration forms where each one needs a unique user id and password. Where you have to submit your formal resume and then manually enter each and every exact thing you have provided on that resume once more, just for good measure. I spent an hour filling out each one of your applications, and I even tailored my cover letter precisely to the job description to boot. Could you at least take five seconds to respond? I'm kind of appalled by the rudeness of people.

2008: the bastard year i never wanted*. (part one)

2008-12-23T22:57:00.002-05:00

in case you missed it.

2008-12-23T22:55:00.002-05:00

A commenter of mine made the good suggestion that I should break my "why 2008 was miserable" into five parts so it's easier to digest. I'm going to do that, but I'll keep the longer version below, since I've received some good comments on it so far. So, sorry for the repetition, but the next five posts will be stuff you may have already read.

2008: the bastard year i never wanted*.

2008-12-21T03:22:00.033-05:00

This has been one of the worst years ever save for one very huge, very amazing exception. Yes, Obama winning was one of the happiest moments of my life, and I still can't believe we actually did it. But while I would love for that fact to cancel out all the many bad things that happened in these last twelve months, it just doesn't. 2008 was wretched in so many ways for so many people, and we each have our reasons. These are mine, in no particular order.

1. The economy sucks.
This country is in the dumps, economically speaking. So many people are struggling to afford health insurance, have lost jobs they once deemed stable, and/or were fucked over by evil lenders granting misleading loans individuals could not afford. And it's supposedly only going to get worse. Oh, and we have to bail these awful institutions out, too. Also? They're using our money to finance their partying (which they did the day after asking for another $40 billion, no less). I'm not saying the bailout was a terrible idea, because last I checked, not helping didn't work so well for Japan in the face of a similar economic crisis. I'll just call it the shit sandwich that comes with bacon, standing in firm opposition to the alternative: the plain shit sandwich.

2. The above is probably (hopefully) why I am still unemployed.
What a time to enter the professional world as a fresh-faced (read: inexperienced) aspiring ANYTHING. I knew it was going to be tough, but I didn't realize it was going to be so bad that I can't even get internships or clerical work. It kind of makes me wonder why I worked SO VERY HARD in college. Why I worked hard in high school to get into a good college, then worked even harder in college to graduate with distinction. Look at all these rewards! Pfffth. A waste of time, as far as I'm concerned. I should have majored in something useful, like civil engineering. Studying PEOPLE? Unnecessary. SOCIETY? Useless.

I don't mean to belabor the point, but I really worked my ass off in college and I'm bitter. I spent night after night pulling 12-hour study sessions at the library, drinking buckets of coffee to stay awake, forming calluses from recopying page after page of notes so that the information would be seared into my brain. I woke my clinically depressed ass up (almost) every morning to get to class on time, I forced my socially anxious self to speak in big, scary lectures so I could get participation points. I studied something I was passionate about and learned about the economy and politics and food production and poverty and globalization and the media and international relations and everything involving people. And now? I can't even find work as a secretary. The fuck? I'm qualified, damn it. What's wrong with me?

I guess, in a less selfish way, it just points to how far from a meritocracy this society is. All too often, it doesn't matter how hard you work. It depends on who you are and who you know. Whether daddy can get you a job with his company, or you interview with an employer who was in your sorority and is thus a sister 4 life. This sucks for me, who has no connections but did well in school, but it sucks even more for the poverty-stricken child who can't even get a decent education no matter HOW hard they work, simply because they don't live in the right area of town.

And I've applied for, um, I'd say thousands of jobs. It's fine if you don't want to hire me, but could you at least get an intern to write a simple email saying, "Thank you for your application, but we do not have a position we believe best suits your skills at this time." (Unless it's a receptionist job, because that's just condescending.) Oh, and if you call me in for a second interview and tell me you'll notify me by the end of the week whether I got the job or not, please stick to your word. If you don't plan on ever speaking to me again, just say "Due to the high volume of job applicants, we cannot notify those who are not selected for this position" or whatever your preferred method of polite rejection. It's pretty shitty to just leave me hanging like that. Especially when I diligently fill out each and every one of your company-specific registration forms where each one needs a unique user id and password. Where you have to submit your formal resume and then manually enter each and every exact thing you have provided on that resume once more, just for good measure. I spent an hour filling out each one of your applications, and I even tailored my cover letter precisely to the job description to boot. Could you at least take five seconds to respond? I'm kind of appalled by the rudeness of people.

3. Speaking of rude: Christian hypocrisy.
I suppose this isn't 2008-specific, but election years always bring out the extra-crazies. It's fine if you want to be Christian, but at least understand your religion. I'm an agnostic who has never touched a Bible in her life and I know more about the teachings of Jesus than many of his followers. For example:

a. Saying, "Oh, well, God will punish him/her for that!" is not a Christian virtue. To say that once someone makes a mistake, they are forever doomed to hell pretty much flies in the face of that whole thing about FORGIVENESS. Wasn't that why Jesus existed in the first place? Just because someone makes a mistake does not mean they are a wholly terrible person. Many people later feel remorse for their mistakes. But, oh, I guess once you fuck up, you're destined to hell. You get one shot, and that's it!

Also, to look at people who ARE able to forgive and deem them terrorist-sympathizers or whatever term applies is not very Christian, either. An Evangelical I know was mad that John McCain hugged one of the interrogators from his POW days years later. Terrorist! He's practically a MUSLIM.

b. Saying "I think Barack Obama is a Muslim and that's BAD!" has two levels of awful in it. He had a Reverend Wright Scandal. REVEREND. How can he be a Muslim and have a scandal involving his Reverend? And if he WAS a Muslim, when did xenophobia/bigotry get back in style?! Putting "I'm a Libertarian with theocratic and xenophobic leanings" on your Facebook profile does you no favors, it just makes you look like the biggest asshole known to man. All three of those are bad individually, but put them together and you've got a recipe for disaster. Also, I didn't realize there was a passage in the Bible calling radical American nationalism the one true way and proclaiming that anyone who looks different (Latino, African American or otherwise) is a foreigner who doesn't belong here. I guess the lesson here is, it's cool to be a non-American Christian who has been converted by missionaries, just so long as you stay in your own damn country.

c. Judging others when you've got a big fucking closet full of skeletons is pretty low. This guy I know is a so-called honest-to-goodness Christian who judges people like it's his job. To his current girlfriend, who had an abortion: "I don't hate you." Regarding the homeless man he begrudgingly gave money to: "Well, if he spends it on alcohol, he'll be going to hell." Dude, you had a three-year relationship with a married woman (oh, hey, his current girlfriend is married, too!). I'm pretty sure that kind of thing (premarital sex included) is more explicitly frowned upon in the Bible than people buying things they can't afford (otherwise most Americans are in trouble).

d. Laughing about the prospect of an Obama assassination is not very Christian, either. Seriously, I'm a better Christian than the ones who not-so-secretly hope he dies or refuse to accept him as their president. Karl Rove is probably one of the most evil men alive, but I don't wish death on anyone. I guess it's because I'm such a bleeding heart compassionate tree-hugging liberal. As if that's a BAD thing!

4. Speaking of abortion: Idiotic legislation.
I am LIVID over this regulation honoring religious objections from pharmacists and doctors who don't want to deal with abortions and birth control pills. Okay, I get it if a doctor doesn't want to perform an abortion. He or she should not have to. But now they can refuse to refer a patient to a doctor or pharmacist who will. In fact, a pharmacist/doctor can refuse to provide ANY information to a patient if it goes against their morals. But only as it pertains to women's health! The legislation specifically talks about abortion only. Which is why it makes no sense that this regulation also okays pharmacists refusing to dispense contraception. Contraception is not abortion.

There are so many things wrong with this decision, it's not even funny. First of all, don't say you're trying to protect all medical practitioners' religious beliefs if you're only focusing on abortion and contraception. If you were concerned about all religious freedom, you would realize that many other religions have prominent beliefs that interfere with other common medications and write these equally stupid provisions into this awful regulation. Is it okay for a Scientologist pharmacist to refuse to dispense anti-depressants, because it's against their religion? Is it okay for a Christian Scientist pharmacist to refuse to dispense any medication? Is it okay for a Jew to work at a butcher shop and refuse to sell pork? Is it okay for a Jehovah's Witness to refuse to give a blood transfusion (it's against their religion!) to a critically injured patient, or even refer them or take them to a doctor who will?

According to this legislation, probably not. But why is our government valuing one religion's beliefs over another's? Don't Scientologists and Christian Scientists and Jews have the same rights to religious freedom as well? Why is it only Christians that get to have their beliefs "honored" in ridiculous ways? Doesn't the First Amendment prohibit enacting a law that respects an establishment of religion? Aren't you playing favorites with Christianity?

My second, more important point is this: oral contraception is not just used as birth control. Many women, virgins even(!), use hormone therapy (read: birth control pills) to regulate conditions such as endometriosis and ovarian cysts. This isn't even an issue of pain reduction. It's about REDUCING the spread of cysts or polyps. It's the only way to treat these conditions, minus a hysterectomy. I understand that pharmacists are not required to take the Hippocratic oath like doctors are, but their job is to dispense medicine that aids people's health. They make sure medications that have dangerous interactions aren't taken together, and they give you what a doctor has deemed necessary. Preventing a person from getting vital treatment means they aren't fulfilling their job duties. I'm guessing a Jew who refused to sell pork, or a vegan who refused to touch or sell any meat, would be fired from a butcher shop pretty quickly due to the fact that they were failing to meet job requirements. Why are Christian pharmacists being singularly sheltered?

I talked to a very pro-life Catholic about oral contraception for ovarian cysts (and other conditions), and he said that most Catholics are perfectly fine with taking medication for this purpose. Okay, so, it's alright to deny Susie her birth control if it's for pregnancy prevention, but not if she's a virgin with a medical condition. How on EARTH are you going to regulate that? Doesn't that violate doctor-patient confidentiality? Are you going to call little ovarian cyst Susie each day and say, "Are you having sex? If so, you need to stop taking those birth control pills under MY watch!" Are you going to conduct some ridiculous TEST to see if she's a virgin? (There isn't one.)

A Slate article I found uses this final point as the last pin in the coffin:

"The most important distinction between [doctors and pharmacists] has to do with their differing relationship with patients. The law recognizes that doctors' special relationships with their patients warrant a legal privilege: Their discussions are kept secret. You may like and trust your pharmacist. You may even trust him with intimate details about your yeast infection. But your pharmacist has neither the tools nor the right to probe details about rape and abuse, incest and health risks. Which is why pharmacists who interpose themselves between decisions made by a doctor and her patient are overstepping moral and ethical boundaries—and undermining another professional relationship that is fundamentally different from their own."

So? How are you going to selectively administer hormone therapy without violating doctor-patient confidentiality? No one in favor of this regulation has answered me on this. Hey, here's a thought: Don't like birth control? DON'T TAKE IT. Oh, and perhaps you should reconsider gynecology if you have a problem with women. (Just a guess, but I assume, as a gynecologist, you'll be interacting with them a lot!)

Also, gay marriage. The passage of Proposition 8 was surprising and upsetting for many, and now proponents want to retroactively enforce the ban on gay marriage, rendering all previously recognized (pre-Prop 8) marriages invalid. Way to be an asshole and change your story, folks. Luckily this has thoroughly disgusted California's attorney general, who is now urging the Supreme Court to void the proposition.

5. Death
This is another inevitability of life, obviously, but this year it has seemed especially prominent. There were the deaths of Tim Russert and George Carlin, two men I adored for their respective talents; the passing of Bernie Mac, who seemed like great family man; and Obama's grandmother, who died the day before he was elected. ONE DAY. Awful.

I'm sure I'm forgetting some others that really hit close to home, but I was most recently affected and disturbed by the death of Jdimytai Damour, the Wal-Mart worker who was trampled on Black Friday. What a perfect symbol for our rampant consumer greed. We want what we want and we don't care what or who it hurts. Perhaps this is just a rumor, but I heard that people knew someone had been horribly injured, and they kept shopping. They were ANGRY about the holdup, about the need to clear the scene after he died. Honestly? An HDTV is not worth it. (It'll be standard in a few months, anyway.)

Perhaps most shocking, I know three people in one family (not mine) who are dying. Two are near the end of their lives and their ailments are relatively natural, but one woman simply collapsed last week and fell into an irreversible coma. She was young, in her forties, and the sister of a friend's stepmom. They just had Thanksgiving at this woman's house and everything was perfectly fine. And then she collapsed, never to regain consciousness. They just took her off life support and she has less than a week to live. She's already in a vegetative state. They don't even know what's wrong, really. Their guess is its some kind of viral infection in her brain.

So, with this last sobering bullet point, it's not my intent to be heavy-handed or to trivialize these deaths by listing them under me not having a job as explanation for why this year has been so awful. I guess my point is that life is so precious and uncertain, and people too often show a blatant disregard for others. We all know that certain things are inevitable: death, heartache, hardship, whatever, but we don't need to make personal relations another annoyance of life by treating one another like enemies. Why do we have to look at others with such immediate disdain? I'm including myself in this. I know I dislike many Republicans and Libertarians. I admit it, I'm a partial-hypocrite. But I like to think I always give people a fair chance. I don't judge people solely based on their political labels; I let them elucidate their beliefs before forming an opinion (or I try to). I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I at least make an effort to give people the benefit of the doubt. I try to be nice to strangers, and help others, and believe in the goodness of people (even though many of their actions suggest otherwise). I don't assume people on welfare are going to use that money for drugs or whatever. I don't assume the worst. It's one thing to be cautious and realistic, but it's quite another to be a misanthropic jerk.

I think the problem is that too many individuals regard life as a movie starring them. They're the main character, the most important one. Everyone else is simply a supporting actor or a tool to get their story to progress. They're looked at as fixtures, features, not real people with real lives. And, of course, the environment is just a backdrop. Not an ecosystem, but a setting. And things only happen when you're present. I guess I'm talking about a real version of The Truman Show. But life isn't like that at all. Each person has their own little life, a family, a story. The world does not revolve around you. (It revolves around the sun, but that's a terrible joke.) I know it's cheesy, and I'm devastated that it was made into a song for High School Musical, but we are all in this together. Maybe in 2009, we can start acting like it.

(Disclaimer: I'm doubtful. It's just a pipe dream from a weak, compassionate idealist. My problem is that I want the whole world to be humane with me, when I think the key to life is to surround yourself with the ones who actively share that desire.)

i look damn good with a beard.

2008-12-19T02:12:00.003-05:00

(Note: the invisible pink unicorn pictured is not actually visible.)

i can't think of a pun.

2008-12-19T00:05:00.002-05:00

I'm too lazy to think. Just look at these pretties, from Thread Social's Spring 09 collection. (That last one should be hideous. Maybe it is.)

you're still the best, you're still the best.

2008-12-17T22:53:00.002-05:00

Get your pretty little asses over to Ivana XL's myspace and listen to her new song, "Mud". I adore it.